15 posts tagged “parental influence”
We have been working with Taber, at the ripe old age of two, on being nice to others. Sometimes he is “that kid” you know the one that picks on other kids, pulls hair, bites and is the one usually found in time out when you go to pick them up. One of the things that we have started doing is to give him a special treat when he goes a whole day without being in time out. One of the other things that we have been doing is some positive reinforcement. At night when he gets into bed and we have said our prayers and while I am telling him goodnight, I started reminding him of all the things that he did that day that I am proud of… like sharing, being a listener or thanking him for being a big helper. I usually remind him of something specific. After about 2 weeks we noticed a huge difference. One night as I finished telling him how proud I was and thanked him for being a good listener he says to me…”daddy, thank you for taking me to church and for letting me play with the toys.”
Recently I have been locked in a battle with my nemesis Taber’s evil twin “rebaT”. My oldest son Taber is not unlike most children at the age of two, or so I am told. He is in the “testing stage”, every boundary, every conversation, everything is challenged and every fence is tested. If I am being honest yesterday I was fed up. Like most parents I was tired, frustrated, wore out, and exhausted. As I laid my head on my pillow and reflected on the day I felt like a failure of a parent. I felt like all I did was discipline my child, raise my voice and react to my son in frustration. As I laid there I was reminded of a couple of things:
- I am thankful for my children; some people wait their whole life to have one to call their own
- This is only a season and my consistency is building the foundation for tomorrow
- My son will never be this young again, cherish every moment
- With work and everything else I only have a few hours in a day to pour into my children, be intentional
- I have one shot to train my children in the way they should go and every moment past is a moment lost and it is either a teaching opportunity or wasted experience
As I drifted off to sleep I found myself thanking God for my sons and looking forward to another day of intentionality.
On Tuesday night at about 7.30 pm, we left town headed for Sun Valley Idaho for vacation. Driving in the evening is always my favorite and we made pretty good time. At 6am the next morning, with about a hundred more miles to go and after being up for over 24hrs, I traded off driving and nestled in for a nap. I’ll be honest the last 100 miles was shall I say “challenging.” In fact I discovered a recipe for cranky kid stew, a patent for patience or a cure for “I want a kid” syndrome.
Take two kids, place in a confined space, add a dash of teething, throw in some tie down straps (seat belts), mix in some tears and fresh “top of the lung screaming” and let marinate for 11hours and 700 miles.
There you have it… Cranky Kid Stew.
Currently we are potty training Taber. As incentive, Taber gets 1 cookie when he goes pee in the toilet and he gets 2 cookies when he goes poop. The other night as we were getting ready to eat dinner Taber asked me emphatically for a cookie. “No son” I replied “we are about to eat dinner.” Without skipping a beat he looked up at me and said “Daddy, I go potty!” Skeptically I took him to the bathroom all the while thinking to myself, yeah right. After fumbling to get his pants and diaper off I finally sat Taber on the toilet. Moments later he peed. With a big smile on his face, he looked up at me and said, “Daddy, cookie!” As I handed him his cookie I thought, “Boy I just got abused by the system and schooled by a 2 year old.”
This is a great video
The other day I was at Starbucks with my son Taber. As we were I was waiting for my coffee I was holding Taber talking to gentleman. As we were talking the gentleman looked at Taber and said “Hi.” His greeting was met by a blank stare. After a moment I looked at Taber and said to him, “son when someone says ‘hi’ to you it is polite to say ‘hi’ back.” Immediately Taber looks at the man and says, “Hi back.”
The other day I was working on some things around the house. I was making frequent trips between the upstairs and the garage downstairs. When I would head to the garage, Taber would stand at the baby gate (located at the top of our stairs) and say, “help me” (which is Tabers way of saying that he wants to help you.) At first I said no, after all I could get done quicker if I didn’t have to take him with me. Usually taking him along means having to keep him from curiously wondering around into other rooms saying, “What’s that?” or trying to keep him from getting into everything that is within the Taber zone. Then as I was about to say no the second time, Taber on the verge tears along with his patented quivering sad lip, I asked myself why I was saying no. It dawned on me that I often say no, because of inconvenience. As this thought brushed through my mind I realized I was missing out on opportunities to connect with my son. How often do we miss opportunities to connect and impart to our children because we are inconvenienced. In that moment I made a decision to say, “yes.” As inconvenient as it can be, I don’t want my inconvenience to dictate my child’s importance.
Tonight as I was tucking Taber into bed we were saying our prayers. “Thank you Jesus for blessing mommy and daddy and brother…. Amen.” As I was walking away Taber said, “and maime (Jamie is the intern that lives with us).” And Jamie I said. As I was walking away Taber says, “Daddy… I wuv you, I wuv you.” As I turned around, I told him that I loved him. This was followed by “kiss?” After I gave him a kiss he says “see you in the morning.”
He is growing up so fast.
Taber likes to play the "I love you" game. How it works is, I point at Taber and say who I love and then he tells me who he loves. Usually it goes back and forth and we list off everyone from Mommy to Grampa to baby brother to unc (uncle). However, tonight Kathryn started to play it with him and this is how it went...
Kathryn - "I love Taber"
Taber - "I love Mommy"
Kathryn - "I love you"
Taber -"I love tv"
Kathryn - "No Taber, we like tv"
Taber - "Like it!"
