14 posts tagged “taberism”
Recently I purchased some Claeys old fashioned hard candies (www.claeyscandy.com). They come in different flavors and are shaped like lemon drops. These things are great and I learned that Taber loves them. Well he would eat any candy really but he especially likes these. In fact when I offer him one he will try and negotiate for 2 of them. Being a quick study I implemented an incentive program with Taber. Basically when he is good he gets a candy.
One night while I was a single dad for a week (my wife was out of town) I was taken in by one of our friends and invited over. I told Taber that we were going to his friend Callens house for dinner and if he was a good boy between now and when we had to leave he could have a candy. Naturally my incentive program worked and he was an angel, halo and all. As we got into the car I thanked Taber for being a good listener and gave him his reward. As I handed it to him I told him that he could eat it to which he replied, “No Daddy! I have to wait to we get to Callens house.” As we were about to pull out of the garage Taber let out a scream as he had dropped his candy and could not find it. I promptly got out the car, found it, handed it back to him and again said that it was ok for him to eat it now. I jumped back into the driver seat and we were off.
Now I had only been to Callens daddy’s house once before and what should have taken us about 20 min took over 40. I wasn’t lost I just couldn’t find it. I didn’t pay much attention at the time but every time we pulled over to look at the map or turn around in a drive way or hang a “U-ee” on a road, Taber would emphatically ask if we were at Callens house. Finally, by my keen sense of direction… and a phone call to Callens daddy, we arrived at our destination. As I opened Tabers door to get him out he looked up at me, with eyes of urgency, and said, “Is this Callens house daddy?” Yes I replied. And with a sigh of pure exhaustion he popped the candy into his mouth. I stood there speechless, staring at my son, who now had a smile of pure joy on his face and sweaty stick hands from holding his piece of candy for 40 min. For a moment I felt bad for unconsciously putting him through that. On one hand I was proud that he had the patience and will power to hold out like that. On the other I thought, Son I gave you this candy 40 min ago and told you it was ok to eat it and yet you waited because you thought that you had to be somewhere specific before you could enjoy it.
I think that we are often like that with God when it comes to His promises. We feel like we have to be a certain way or have been a Christian for so long or whatever the reason before we can enjoy His promises. Don’t let some mans tradition or religion steal what God has for you. God’s promises and inheritance for His children are certainly released through obedience, but they were available to you the moment you gave your life to Christ. Don’t be shackled to yesterday or weighted down with false illusions of tomorrow, but rise up today in who God said you are and walk in the fullness of all that God has given you.
Two year olds are an interesting age group. They are old enough to express themselves and still uncoordinated enough to be trusted with “fragile” things. One of Tabers favorite phrases when he is asked not to touch/play with something that is fragile is “Duss looking Dad.” Nine out of ten times it goes from “duss looking”… too… just holding… too… just broken. His M.O. is to run away (mostly because he is afraid and embarrassed) and then returns to say he’s “sawrry”.
I was reflecting after one such instance and it dawned on me that we often respond to God in the same manner. God says to “not touch” not because He wants to be a “buzz kill”, but because He is trying to protect us from breaking ourselves. Like my son we find ourselves just looking… too… just touching… too… how did I end up here. And like Taber our initial reaction is to run from God because we are afraid or ashamed of what we did. However, when we are faithful to return to God, admit our mistake and ask for forgiveness, He is faithful and just to forgive us and make us whole again.
It makes me proud when the one out of ten times Taber walks away from that which is so tempting. I can only imagine how proud God is of us when we are obedient to Him.
David said in Psalm 61 “Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer.”
Like most children his age Taber has a couple of things that go with him everywhere. One of them is his blanket and the other is his “puppy” (a small snuggly with a little puppy plush sown to it). At night when he goes to bed he likes to have his blanket tucked under his feet and he likes to have his “puppy” draped over his face (this started because the lights were to bright and he did it to cover his eyes).
One night Taber was waking up every 45 minutes crying and upset because his puppy was not covering his face just right. The 1st time I went in to check on him and the 2nd time I tried to ignore him. After the 3rd time I was “not happy” and to be honest I wanted to take his “puppy” and do mean things with it. (I’m not sure if you have ever had to deal with a 2 year old that wakes up in the middle of the night wanting something but in my experience they are so incoherent that nothing you do is right.)
As I stumbled back to bed for the 4th time disgruntled and very irritated I realized how thankful I am that God is not like me. When we cry out to God through the night He doesn’t get angry or irritated, rather He is attentive to our cry.
While my wife was pregnant with our second son Titan, we made sure to include Taber along the journey. Taber would speak to Kathryns tummy and say, “I wuv you braaatherrr! See you soon. Night! Night! Braaatherrr!” As the day approached we were all excited. However when we brought Titan home Tabers attitude changed quickly. He displayed aggressive tendencies and we could tell that he was not happy with the new addition. At one point he even tried to give Titan away to Uncle Shaun…”take home… take home…?” Taber said as he talked to Uncle Shaun while pointing at Titan. Fast forward to today and Taber loves Titan. Yah Taber still has attention issues but at least he is not trying to give Titan away.
As Christ followers we often display the same actions towards those who have new faith / no faith, especially when it affects our little bubbles. We say that we love the lost and want people to come to the knowledge of Christ; however our actions say the opposite. We pass hurting people by everyday without so much as a smile. Many times we greet new people to our churches with closed arms. Our responsibility is to love people to Christ right where they are at even when it means change.
One of Tabers favorite things to eat is “dip.” In his case it us usually ketchup or ranch dressing. One night as we were eating we watched as Taber lathered his “dip” in his hair and then proceeded to imitate what daddy does in the morning when I do my hair. Can I tell you that if in a pinch ketchup might just work.
As we were having burritos one night Taber watched as I put hot sauce on mine. Immediately he went into intense negotiations for “dip.” This is how it went:
Taber - “Dip! Dip! Dip! Daddy…pweeeeaaaaasssssee.”
Me - “Son, you don’t want this, it is very hot.”
Taber - “Dip! Dip! Dip! Tabers turn!”
Me - “Taber you are not going to like it.”
Taber - “*Pout, pout, pout* (Taber sad lip), Pweeeaasssee.”
Me - “Son…..”
Taber - “Daddy…pweeeeaaaaasssssee.”
Me -“Son…”
Taber - “Daddy…pweeeeaaaaasssssee.”
Me - “Ok, but you are not going to like it.”
So I went ahead and put a drop of “dip” on my finger and placed it on his tongue. The smile that so consumed his face quickly washed away and was followed by tears and “I don’t like it! I don’t like it!” as he tried to wipe his tongue with his hands.
When God/The Bible says “don’t” or “no” it’s for a reason. Perhaps not one that we would understand or even like, but I am certain that it is to save us from the “I don’t like it’s.” of life.
In my office I have some toys that sit on one of my bookshelves. The other morning I was sitting at my desk preparing for service. As I sat there I heard the pitter patter of little feet. I looked up to see Taber come running in. Immediately I stopped what I was doing, as I often do when my son comes into the room, and knelt down out of my chair. As he ran towards me I realized that he was not headed towards me but the toys on my shelf. I thought he was saying “Daddy, Daddy” but as he got closer I realized he was saying “Daddy’s toy, Daddy’s toy.” As he got closer I held my arms open and asked if I could have a hug. I was met with a side step and a jump and a shout for “Toy! Toy!” Again I asked for a hug. Again I was denied. Finally I grabbed him and lifted him up and asked, “Can Daddy have a hug?” This time he wrapped his little arms around me and said, “I wuv youuu.”
So many times we come into Gods presence and we are more interested in His promises than in Him. We head straight towards His promises and all God the Father wants is a hug. We ought to have the heart of Moses, God if I can’t have your presence then I don’t want your promises. The more my son loves on me the more I want to give him “Daddys toys.”
Recently Taber discovered flashlights. He absolutely loves them. In fact he kind of has an obsession with them. Whenever we go over to Uncle Shaun and Sissos house Taber makes it a point to search out and find Uncle Shaun’s Makita flashlight. He then proceeds to stumble around the house dragging it, as the flashlight is over half his size, as he shines it in his eyes.
At home I keep a few Maglite’s in my bed side table, a couple of weeks ago Taber discovered them. Now when he comes into our room he heads straight to the drawer and insists on rummaging through it till he finds them all. Upon collecting them he asks, with an emphatic “pleeeeeaaaass” for one of us to turn them on and turn off the room lights. Once the lights are off and the flashlights on he excitedly shines them all over the place while saying with a big smile, “lighttt, lighttt.”
As Christians we ought to be excited that we are the light in the midst of darkness. We should be saying, “Abba” put me in the place where my light will shine the brightest. I am not afraid of the dark, I want to be the “lighttt!”
One of Taber’s favorite things to do is to sit on my lap as he reads his books. On one such occasion as I observed him pointing at the “fissh” I thought to myself, “He will never be this young again and one day soon he won’t even want to sit in my lap and read.” As these thoughts flashed through my mind I silently prayed, “God give me the wisdom and strength to raise Taber intentionally.”
A couple of days later Taber and I were sitting on the couch playing with his drum sticks. As I momentarily turned my head I suddenly experienced a sharp blow to one of my knuckles. In that moment it took everything within me to not scream. After composing myself I leaned over to him and told him that he hurt daddy and asked him if he could pray for it. After a moment Taber reached over and put his little hand on my knuckle and said “Amen!” as I sat there on the verge of tears, mainly because my knuckle, I thought to myself, train a child in the way the he should go and he will not depart from it.
This morning, as I was getting ready, Taber was “locked” in the bathroom with me so as to contain and minimize the devastation of the early morning hurricane. He was doing his normal disaster of pulling out dirty clothes, playing with the scale and unwinding the toilet paper when he discovered a hand held mirror in one of the drawers. As he held the mirror up he just started to laugh. He proceeded to put down the mirror and stop laughing then look at himself again and laugh. I stood there greatly amused as he did this several times.
As we get older we can slip into the notion that somehow being serious is equivalent to responsibility and maturity. In reality we need to be able to laugh at ourselves, at our mistakes, our goof ups, even the things we don’t like how they appear in the mirror. I realize that life throws curve balls, however the Word says that our joy comes from the Lord not our circumstances. So today laugh at life. Laugh because Christ is who He said He was. Laugh because you were once a child of darkness but now you are a child of light. Laugh because you were once lost but not are found. And Laugh because God holds the world in the palm of His hand and nothing is too great for Him. Life is short laugh hard.
Recently Taber has become infatuated with shoes. He calls them “Ssooz.” His favorite thing to do is to carry them by the laces and swing them around. When he is done playing with them, I am certain that he places them strategically so that I can trip over them when the lights are off. Yesterday evening I walked over to our shoe rack, which he empties regularly, to find him standing perfectly in my shoes. As I came into view he looked up at me and said “Ssooz!” A smile flashed across my face as it looked like he was wearing clown shoes. A moment later he tried to take a step only the shoes stayed still and he did his custom Taber head dive. As I picked him up a couple of thoughts crossed my mind. I thought to myself how often we try to fill someone else’s shoes only to take a header. I also thought how it brought a whole new meaning to walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. As I stood Taber up I told him “Don’t worry son, one day you will be able to wear daddies shoes”
In life there are some shoes that we are not meant to fill nor should we try. And as a parent we should be leaving a path of footprints for our children to follow that point them in the right direction, not shoes they need to fill. However there are some shoes in life that our children should wear. Like the shoes of integrity, character, holiness, and peace.
So the question is this. Are you leaving shoes to fill or a path to follow?
